It’s easy to get comfortable in our isolation.
When people hurt us, we prefer to cocoon ourselves in our room, shut out from the outside world. The fear of further emotional pain keeps us from having relationships with others, and even meeting them.
Loneliness is tedious and gloomy, but it’s safe. Hayden Arp explores this desolation in his song “House on a Hill”.
Arp’s melancholy voice is as hushed as his acoustic guitar. Though quiet, they carry with them a heavy significance and slowly work their way into your heart.
Wrapped in the rising sun,
I try to ignite
a fire, but nothing comes.
Even when things seem to be in his favour, Arp struggles to feel contentment and a drive to pursue it. So, he stays in his seclusion and doesn’t desire anything more.
Alone at the end of a story,
watching the walls stretch out before me.
Sitting in a house on a hill,
I’m not coming down, and I never will.
Usually, after a person comes through the trials and tribulations of life, they find happiness and meaning in their life. Arp, however, stills finds himself alone and unsatisfied in life.
The “house on the hill” is a metaphor for his insulation from society. He’s not ready to come out of his isolation, and feels like he never will be.
After a couple of verses, Arp sings this line before repeating the chorus above;
Oh god, is this still my story?
Arp feels like his depression and isolation will never end. He wonders why his “story” hasn’t changed its narrative.
However, like some of us stuck in a cycle of pessimism and depression, we reach the end of the dark tunnel and find a little light blooming.
And why should I write you now?
In spite of the years
and all of the fears I felt,
guess it is all to say
I’m coming down.
Are you still in town these days?
Arp finally feels ready to leave his isolation and face society, even if it means stumbling upon the person who hurt him the most.
In the emotional shift from the first verse to the last, we see a growing maturity in the singer. It’s easier to wallow in our despair and isolate ourselves from the world.
As Arp suggests, once you accept that life comes with pain, and that pain is temporary, it will seem more like a transient hindrance to contentment, rather than an end to your once content life.
