In “Most of the Time,” singer-songwriter Jocelyn Jayne shares complex lyrics set to keyboard, speaking of the pain it feels to care for someone who is emotionally and mentally unavailable.
“I keep a cold eye ready for you to wake up
And I take you, you would be mine
I won’t remember you ever being alright
And it kills me most of the time”
As she is waiting for someone to wake up and be present in her life, the person is never alright enough to do so. This gives the listener the idea that maybe this other person is unwell in some way, possibly in terms of mental health, though their distance could simply be due to selfishness or other reasons. As the song moves into the chorus, it becomes clear that this person is distant and unavailable most of the time, and that the pain of them not being close to the writer is the reason for writing the song.
“Most of the time, you’re not mine
Most of the time, most of the time”
While it seems like this other person may be a romantic partner, it’s not stated as fact by Jocelyn Jayne. The distant person could be a family member such as a parent, or someone who used to be a close friend. It could be someone who is supposed to play a large role in the narrator’s life but either chooses not to or can’t. Either way, Jocelyn Jayne has to find a way to protect herself from the situation, creating barriers and boundaries.
“I don’t remember
I will not focus on that
Let me down, down
Most of the time”
The previous lyrics move the story forward, showing that while the listener has been let down by this person time and time again, she chooses not to obsess over the hurt she feels. Set to a simple piano tune and sung by a lovely voice that doesn’t change much emotionally in range, it seems that some emotion might be held back in the lyrics, or that there could be more to the story here. This is clarified in the next few lines, sharing that Jocelyn Jayne would wait forever if even just the sound of her waiting would open the person’s eyes to all that is and has gone wrong.
“I’d wait forever
If I thought even the sound
could open your eyes”
After the chorus plays again, the most informative lyrics in the song are sung, stating that the person Jocelyn Jayne is singing about might have had everything they wanted at one point and lost it, helping to support my earlier idea that maybe this person is struggling in their own way.
“Didn’t you get what you always wanted?
You weren’t ready for that
Didn’t you get what you always wanted, always wanted?”
In the last part of the song, the audience Jocelyn Jayne is singing for seems to shift. It’s as if we move from singing to the person the song is about back into the notebook it’s written in.
“Make me better
Take these thoughts away
I am bitter
It gets in the way
Make me better take these thoughts away
I am bitter
It gets in the way
Make me better
Take these thoughts away
I am bitter
It gets in the way”
At the very end, we realize as a listener that this song is not about getting to the other person, but rather processing everything she has felt in this experience. It’s not about asking for change, but about the music. In the process of making it, Jocelyn Jayne can take thoughts of anger and bitterness away, summarizing the beauty and in some cases, purpose, of songwriting itself.
