Indie singer-songwriter Boy Bjorn just released the first single, “Always Searching”, from his upcoming EP, Warner. On the surface, it’s a chill song to toss in the background, but the lyrics are much deeper and darker than I anticipated. Setting the tone with melancholy keys and an acoustic guitar, he sings of feeling lost. Wandering through life and just going through the motions, he’s hit rock bottom.
Boy Bjorn is a new project by Brian Holl, a singer-songwriter fueled by a notable anxiety that some might call life-changing. Interestingly, he was stricken by a panic attack at SXSW in 2015, which presented a new pivot in his young life. Boy Bjorn’s debut album, Mistaken Animals, was released Spring 2018. His new EP, Wander is next on the list.
“Fool’s gold fills your head
Feeling better when you were dying”
Right now, dying would be better than the continuous experience of ‘let down’. It’s morbid, but it’s honest. He seems to continue to run into situations of false hope, making him sink deeper into distress.
“Credit card keeps on sliding
Momentary back on your feet
It’s not in me to keep on failing”
There are moments of satisfaction and relief that suggests he’s working along the right track. Boy Bjorn touches on financial troubles and the usual grind; however his tale goes deeper than that. It’s an ongoing stumble that he keeps getting up to face time and time again.
“I don’t know why
I’m always searching”
Throughout the song we hear him losing motivation, although there are better things on the horizon. Several questions arise. Can he reach the next step? Is it worth it? He admits that sometimes he just needs to fade into his darkness and drown out all the other noise. The song’s somber theme feels unusually normal for Boy Bjorn. That in itself is somewhat heartbreaking.
Though it’s a sad song, it feels like there is a hint of hope hidden underneath. Even if he’s not sure exactly what he’s looking for, there’s a reason why he keeps going, why he keeps searching for a purpose. There’s a faint whistle in the background that makes the tune just a little bit brighter for me.
Knowing he can’t keep failing, he has the ability to rise above it. I don’t know what he’s searching for either, but this song proves that music is his calling, and it’s what is getting him through the hard times.
Failure is a part of growth. Boy Bjorn is growing and making sense of the world the best he can.
Expect to hear Warner in full later this year.
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